The last breath
by InatZiggy-Stardust
Summary: "I, as a river, couldn't cry for myself. But she did it on my place". Haku remembers why he never forgot Chihiro's name.


**Disclaimer: **All the characters of _Spirited Away_ belong to Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki. This is a non-profit fanfiction.

**Notes:** Hi there! This is my first fanfic about this fantastic movie so it's really little and with no much plot but I hope you like it anyway. English is not my first language so probably there will be some mistakes, so feel free to point them out if you feel like leaving a review, that would be really appreaciated too!

Also, I portrayed Haku as a young river because in his human form he's 12 years old, so I think it makes sense.

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**The last breath.**

When I was a river, I was so young. Other rivers were too old and had been on earth so many years before me.

It was like if mine were waters which found new ways to flow freely through the earth, like tired tears sated to travel the same course like a circle, not wanting to belong to the same eyes where they were shed from anymore. So that was how I was born. And like a child I was so expecting of the world, thinking of it like something marvelous and extraordinary and all I ever wanted was to be a part of it.

I wanted to carry the water which could hydrate the flowers and the animals. In my very existence there was the help the living beings needed to continue their journey in this world. I wanted to bring life and never to watch death. Because I was so childish, with eyes filled with hope. I loved to see all the things to bloom and grow. The passing of the time was contained in these two things for me, so the hours didn't exist. The experiences were all. Like when people came closer to me to watch the glow of the stars reflected on me. I was a river and a mirror. I wanted to connect the people's heart with Mother Earth. Like a bridge. Like a servant.

That's why when Chihiro came to me I didn't want to watch her die and to be the reason of her death. She was so tiny and small that it was easy for me to carry her on my neck and made her flow as if she was a part of the water and a part of myself. I could see the purity in her eyes, the way she saw me as if I were something out of this world, something precious and mysterious like an ancient secret of the earth. I saw in her eyes that she wanted to hold me in her heart forever.

"You're amazing!" she cried out and I smiled. "Kohaku, right?!"

"That's right" I answered. She embraced me tightly, as if she wanted her heart to get closer to mine and never to let go. Her arms were so soft and warm. And I felt so happy to know she loved me even if I wasn't a human, because I only knew they only left room to love other humans.

"Thank you for this. I owe you my life. And someday I'll pay my debt!" Then she felt asleep on my back.

When I dropped her in the shore, I saw her eyes closed as if she was living a beautiful dream. I was used to be a dream for every human being. They never thought of me as something else. But Chihiro's was a kid's dream, one which does not know the line between hope and reality. And probably that was the very problem. For I was a poor dream destined to fade away for the grownups. I gave all of me to them, but they decided I was a problem for their plans of expansion. So, they dried me, and I never thought this death would be so slow and painful. I was getting smaller and smaller that all the flowers that were around me withered and were thrown away by humans, as if flowers were nothing but trash. Animals could not come to visit me anymore. Trees were cut down, and the sky never cried over me to bring me some water to continue living. They buried me with no grave, no monument, no memory of my existence.

And I, as a river, couldn't cry for myself because I was left with no water to offer as tears for my depart from the world of the living.

But when I had my last drop about to disappear on the soil, this child came again. Chihiro saw everything but me. I was not the same river but just a drop of water. And it was when she started to cry over me and her tears were like a rain in the middle of my desert. It was like I was given a last chance to breath. I didn't think she would return. I thought she would forget me. Instead, she saved me from my despair even if I was dying with no chance to endure.

"Kohaku…" She whispered, sobbing as the child she was. "You don't deserve this!"

"Come on, Chihiro" said her mother, patting her right shoulder "It was just a small river, actually the one you were about to drown in. You shouldn't be that sad for this river, instead you should feel relieve that it's not there anymore so people won't get stuck on it again".

"You're wrong, mom" she barely could answer.

"Chihiro, so that's her name… What a beautiful name, I'll never forget it" I thought as I was drying, bitterly, meekly, completely.

And so, I did.


End file.
